Ingredients
2 (8-oz.) blocks cream cheese, softened
2 c. shredded white cheddar
2 green onions, thinly sliced
1 tbsp. everything seasoning
Pinch cayenne
1/4 c. poppy seeds
1 slice white cheddar cheese
2 slices hot sopressata, halved
Goldfish crackers
Ritz crackers
Sliced cucumbers
Assorted cured meats
Preparation
Step 1In a large bowl, combine cream cheese, cheddar, green onions, everything seasoning, and cayenne. Using a hand mixer, beat until fully combined. Step 2Scoop mixture out of bowl onto a large piece of plastic wrap. Using the plastic wrap, shape mixture into a triangle with a flat bottom and slightly rounded sides (to make the shark’s head). Refrigerate until firm enough to hold its shape, about 1 hour. Step 3Unwrap shark head cheese ball onto a serving platter or large cutting board. Step 4Cut a piece of paper into the same shape as your shark’s head, but smaller. Center it on the bottom of the shark head cheese ball, then pour and press poppy seeds onto the exposed cheese ball surface. Carefully pull away piece of paper and clean around cheese ball. Step 5Place sopressata halves on the bottom center of the shark head cheeseball to form a semi-circle. This is your shark’s open mouth. Cut teeth out of the slice of cheese and place on top of sopressata.Step 6Working with leftover cheese, cut 2 tiny pieces of cheese and place on each side of the shark’s head, then place a peppercorn on top of each. (If the peppercorn is rolling off, dab it with some cream cheese or hummus.)
Because of the state of the world, I shot the recipe video at home on my phone, in my extremely tiny apartment with almost no counter space. It’s at a wonky angle and the picture isn’t extremely crisp, but I highly recommend you watch it. Not because I spent a lot of time on it (although I did), but because it will make the written directions make a lot more sense—particularly when you’re shaping the shark and assembling the mouth.
